Hello mga Apo. Welcome to the first installment of MGA PAYO NI LOLA DALMA! Ayun mano po kay Lola bago tayo magsimula. Bagamat masmainam kung gagamitin ko ang wikang Tagalog, pasensya nalang po kayo at Taglish nalang tayo ha? O, heto na ang leksyon para sa araw na ito. Yes kids there is a site devoted to boyfriend stealing and pretty much maintains, all boyfriends can be stolen! And they even have a HOW TO portion - http://www.boyfriendstealers.com/how.htm di ba? Say nyo! Now there are two ways of looking at this HOW TO portion. Either you take them as tips and tricks of the trade--apparently there is some universal coherence to the methods--OR you can take them as warning signs. In Tagalog: BABALA. OK so let's go through the tips prescribed in the site (I'll paraphrase a little for entertainment value). STEP ONE: "Spot your prey" Of course it all starts with a TARGET. Once the target is in your sites, time to zoom in. Get close and all that jazz. Dito magsisimula ang lahat. I want ______. Yun, in the words of Mommy Beauregarde to her daughter in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, "Eyes on the prize, Violet :-)." STEP TWO : "Dress to impress" Be it costume or nyeknyek nyorts or palda na walang panty sa ilalim. Choose the one that goes for the jugular ika nga. STEP THREE: "Keep in touch" The author of the site has many suggestion on how to keep in touch. At 298 years of age, I have also spotted a few "stroks" and "styles" which again you might want to try or if you are on the other side of the fence, stuff you might want to see as the proverbial red flags. O, these are what the author proposes: Make more contact with with him but you mustn't make it obvious (Siyempre, "kuning" muna.) Yung pa-simple lang. For example, I shall quote the site, "Call him asking for someone else's number, then make small talk. (Keep this first conversation relatively short, you don't want to make it noticeable that you are interested.)" Galeng no? Excited na? Don't worry, may karugtong ito sa STEP FIVE. Other ways of small talk, ask help on a project or work on the same project together, find something in common like the music of Clannad, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Click Five or Ray Conniff. STEP FOUR: "Investigate" Again I shall quote the website author: "After you make light contact with him, familiarize yourself with his life. Learn his hang outs, interests, hobbies, etc. This makes it easier to lure him in." If you know his girlfriend / psuedo girlfriend / girlet / girltoy / babe, you can go the extra mile and get close to her and use her to get close to him! Di ba? Hasten the process. Tienes! STEP FIVE: "Make friends" "Now that you know a little more about him, take it a little further. Call him more frequently. Become "friends" with him. Ask him advice on guys so that it isn't obvious you want to be with him." O naku po mga apo. How many times have I seen this happen? This is such a favorite technique of a lot of girls na kunwari you want to talk about how things are not going well with their current boyfriend, or how they're being stalked, or how they're getting over this break up, or how their ex boyfriend keeps bugging them or how they're being "courted" or "kinukulit" by someone they don't like. AMININ may nakagawa at may nakatikim na ng formula na 'to. IMHO, they can really always go to their friends, cousins, siblings, barkada, family members pero siyempre...punta sila sa...TARGET. Apir! Beri gud! STEP SIX: "Instigate fights" Quoting from the source material again: "Instigate fights between the boyfriend and girlfriend...You can say things to the boyfriend like "does she always do that?" You can also say similar things to the girlfriend as well. Chances are she will start a fight not him...If you cause fights or arguments often, you will cause a space in their relationship. This is where you come in. OH DI BA??? Other things to look out for: Your lover / man / boytoy / boyfriend / psuedo boyfriend / babe gets a call at midnight on CHRISTMAS / NEW YEARS or their BIRTHDAY. This is also a pattern. As in aaminin ko, ONE TIME, your LOLA did try this ONE Christmas, but THANKFULLY the guy shut off the phone. And three hours later said, "Sorry, I was at mass with my girlfriend. Merry Christmas to you and your family." Man, SANTA CLAUS PUT LOLA DALMA in her place and WOKE HER UP FROM HER STUPIDITY! The powers that be saved me from doing something dumb. The angels watched me. Thank God. So there it is ladies. There IS a formula. I'm sure those of you who have done it are eerily familiar with the steps and well the rest of you on the other side of the fence--ayan, yung mga hingi hingi ng payo dyan about guys, yung mga tatawag tawag dyan, mag te-text text, YM YM sa kelots ninyo. Yun senyas na yan. BEWARE, kids. So be alert, be aware. This world is not full of Polyannas and Heidis and Gingerbread Men. I hope I was able to help raise awareness and if you have SENSIBLE questions for your 298 year old Lola Dalma. Fire away :-) More "Payo ni Lola Dalma" coming up in the coming days. Cheers children.
 | Hahaha. :D Very entertaining. And true! |
Comment deleted at the request of the author.
| Oh, I'm sure it applies to guys too. Although I think mas obvious pag guys. Yung parang naiinip ba. ;) |
 | There are some na wala rin pa que if their target is single or not. They'll just invite your man to watch some stupid gig or stay another day for "kwento". Eyes are once again a-rolling. |
 | Hahahaha!!!! Kenkoy talaga ang lola ko BUT very, very wa-is! Ika nga: "Forewarned is forearmed"! More tips! More tips! |
| And well, well, welllllll..... look what i found!
www.girlfriendstealer.com/ |
 |  There are some na wala rin pa que if their target is single or not. They'll just invite your man to watch some stupid gig or stay another day for "kwento". Eyes are once again a-rolling.  Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hi Gojira! Well the above article are the steps for snagging if said TARGET has someone special.
You kind of wonder if these people have other things to do like:
1. School / Career
2. Consuming passions like: the works of Neil Gaiman, Tim Burton, mafia films, taking apart Marlon Brando's lines in "Apocalypse Now," buying every single piece of vinyl Rolling Stones has ever put out, mountain biking, street luge, parachuting, cross country driving through every nook and cranny of Budapest...I myself feel the world is so big...and there's not enough time to do everything and read everything and watch everything!
3. Spend time with friends who might need their time rather than focus too much time on "snagging."
As I said I hate to admit it but Imma gonna put on mah Southern Accent here and thank the Good Lord Almighty that He sent me a righteous man to put me in mah place learnin' me from textin' a man in church with his woman on th' nyt the Savior was born. I'VE BEEN SAVED from snatchin' and bruisin'...
And Imma gonna say amen that I also ain't never done this to any o my sisters brothers cousins or friends.
Halleylujah.
Truly yours,
SKARface...
And I roll mah eyeballs with ya sister, I roll 'em all night long... |
| themaeyoung wrote on Sep 24, '07, edited on Sep 24, '07 Omigosh! You are right, Lola! Iba talaga ang gut-feel :-) Pero you know, kawawa rin ang mga boyfriend/girlfriend stealers, 'no? They are a pitiful lot :-( Kasi, how do you sleep well at night when in the back of your head you're thinking that someone could very likely steal their current boyfriend/ girlfriend away from them, 'di ba?
YAN ang paranoia! |
 | Girlfriend stealers?..Eeep.Guilty as charged,But it did last a good and turbulent four years.As Tony Montana would say"There are two things important to me,my word and my balls and I don't break either of them!" |
 | mah guhdnesses, as long as the man that im vying for doesn't have a ring on his finger yet, then all has the right to 'steal' him away.
to be honest, i wouldn't call it stealing...i mean, if the guy willingly goes with you, then...heheheh. that wouldn't be stealing isn't it....?
i call it.....gayuma.
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| mah guhdnesses, as long as the man that im vying for doesn't have a ring on his finger yet, then all has the right to 'steal' him away.
to be honest, i wouldn't call it stealing...i mean, if the guy willingly goes with you, then...heheheh. that wouldn't be stealing isn't it....?
i call it.....gayuma.
Yup as the website says, ANY BOYFRIEND CAN BE STOLEN :-) by anyone.
But you could also end up in another love triangle or quadrangle especially if the guy still has feelings for the girl he left behind or another girl in addition to you.
It's actually a controversial topic and there was even a poll in COSMO about this. But personally to do the whole targetting thing, to start doing any of the techniques above (starting to get interested in HIS hobbies, researching him and then getting him to fight with his girl--in other words, manggulo), I don't know in my humble opinion, dehins nalang :-)
Controversial, no?
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| I was just about to say I enjoyed your post and Origamidreamer's a lot in that there are so many tangents and points of discussion we can go on :-) it really IS an interesting subject, as is relationships.
I like everyone's comments and TRUE Confessions! They're quite thought provoking and insightful.
Cheers! Looking forward to more reactions tomorrow actually.
And well yes, matching and gayuma is different from using those TECHNIQUES nga naman. |
 | as a friend's lola actually did tell her, "Mas madaling hulihin ang manok na nakatali."
yee-ikes! |
| Add ko lang to what I said earlier, with guys (at least some I know), "stealing" happens quick when the girl (or guy, if he's gay) is itching to have something on the side. So consensual naman, usually, wala nang padaplis... diretsahan na. Although, there's still flirting and landian (via text, etc.) involved... :D |
 | Veddy interesting payo & opinions. Was going to pass on the site to a friend, pero, it looks like it takes more effort than she has time for (e.g. investigate his life). Plus, bait-bait niya she can't even bring herself to ask about the guy's personal life kasi she feels like that's private and nunna her beezwax. Bigyan ko na lang siya ng copya ng "The Secret".... "If you build it, they will come..." (positive thinking na lang!) |
| Add ko lang to what I said earlier, with guys (at least some I know), "stealing" happens quick when the girl (or guy, if he's gay) is itching to have something on the side. So consensual naman, usually, wala nang padaplis... diretsahan na. Although, there's still flirting and landian (via text, etc.) involved... :D Hmmmm. Pag "on the side" di naman siguro stealing yun. Borrowing lang?
Again, I'm enjoying the interesting comments and reactions.
Oh and with regards to gays, I don't even want to imagine the "backlash" (pun intended) when something like this happens among their ranks. As my Lola told me once, gays make very good and loyal friends, but once you cross them, you better run and hide.
Hi Olybear! Good morning. |
| Lola? Ba't mo naisipang ito ang gawin debut topic? Is the boyfriend stealing epidemic rampant na? Hahaha :-D |
 | so if my lola is an expert in boyfriend stealing, how many have you stolen na? why do we have to steal boy/girlfriends when we should just SHARE! :<) |
| so if my lola is an expert in boyfriend stealing, how many have you stolen na? why do we have to steal boy/girlfriends when we should just SHARE! :<) Ebeseyes ha, binasa mo ba ng maayos? Yung tips galing sa website NOT from me tapos siyempre a lot of us look at this as babala nga, kumbaga in the words of Lola D, "RED FLAG."
Yung sa SHARING ng partner, yun kanya kanyang diskarte na yan. Pero I know for some people na maraming inaatupag sa buhay at maraming iniintindi, maraming gulo, parang mas type mo nalang to keep it simple. Ibang topic na 'to eh. Yung mga share-share diyan, yun may support group din tsaka site www.polyamory.com, may mga terminology pa o, say nyo?
Ibang topic nanaman yan for Lola, sige next time yun na www.polyamory.com naman yun pag uusapan.
Lola Dalma |
 | walanghiya nga naman, ano?
masarap talaga kasi yung bawal daw.
I know guys who ONLY go after girls who are married or have boyfriends. When the girl chooses the new guy, apparently the magic is gone and so is his love/interest in her.
Sucks, don't it?
To be just a challenge.
I've decided I will never share a man who is with me, nor will I share my affections with anyone who isn't with me.
call me selfish.
dapat lang no? |
| nazgulqueen wrote on Sep 25, '07, edited on Sep 25, '07 Sucks, don't it?To be just a challenge. I was about to make that point as well when I recalled quoting the mom of Violet Beauregarde when she says "Eyes on the prize, Violet." in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (yung naghahanap nanaman ng ways kung saan saan ipapasok si Johnny Depp ano?)
It does almost end up where that person is being OBJECTIFIED: the words prize, stolen, snagged, borrowed, shared, challeng, a toy being fought for?
I just sort of realized this looking at the language used to refer to the situation and the person. |
| isabetlog wrote on Sep 25, '07, edited on Sep 25, '07 That's a really nasty site, I must say...to have a how-to section no less, outlining the so-called steps. Some people really make a life out of making others miserable. Karma will hopefully them all in the ass, hopefully sooner than later. Oh, and notice how the "guilt" section is empty.
There are waaay to many skanks out there.... |
| Is this ahas awareness month? The funny thing is, I was leafing through the new COSMO in a David's and lo and behold here's the article: "Beware of the Ahas Girls." Too weird. Wala it must really be the topic of the season. Inunahan si Lola!!! |
| nazgulqueen wrote on Sep 25, '07, edited on Sep 25, '07 A message to my blog stalker/s: 1. Leave that other girl you stalked out of this, we're FRIENDS :-) Except I know she'll be flattered again if she hears about the attention. 2. It's called a SENSE OF HUMOR. You might enjoy having one. |
| Oh and with regards to gays, I don't even want to imagine the "backlash" (pun intended) when something like this happens among their ranks. As my Lola told me once, gays make very good and loyal friends, but once you cross them, you better run and hide.
Hi Olybear! Good morning. Gay people react pretty much the same way when scorned...
But when someone in a relationship--whether ,straight, gay or whatever--decides to do something major with another person, well, that pretty much says a lot about that relationship. Two to tango, ika nga, so equal ang blame (kung blame nga ang tawag). :)
Nice and popular post. Can't wait for Lola's next installment, NQ... |
 | I thought your name was Karen K not Crazy Jane and her posse. ;) Amusing post though. |
 | LOLA, I love yoooooo! *bow bow* |
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